i am in barcelona!
and i speak about six words of spanish.
i managed to rent the most amazing apartment here, though.
on the top floor of an old building,
right on the barceloneta (beach).
exposed brick and beams.
iberian sea breezes.
but if i start to feel lofty and full of myself up here,
all i have to do is go down to the street…
to be humbled by my complete lack of ability to speak the language.
gorgeous women all around me are voicing themselves in spanish, everywhere. i listen as as i walk, sip coffee and...oh, i wish i could speak spanish!
the language, and the women, are alluring.
i see them as confident, lively, opinionated, talkative, feminine, soulful, sexy.
and español makes everything sound beautiful.
this morning, my first morning here, i sat for café con leche at a local spot and searched my iphone for a nearby yoga studio. there were none with classes today.
(it's august. studios are either closed, or on reduced schedule).
once the coffee kicked in, i remembered
the apartment i've rented is perfect for practicing solita yoga.
so i came home to this inspiring view.
and practiced by myself, for more than an hour.
slowly moving my body
through warm ups, then poses.
travel and time zone changes moved out of my body.
fear and anxiety moved out of my body.
breath moved out of my body. breath moved into my body.
calm moved into my body.
ease moved into my body.
i practiced urdhva dhanurasana (reverse wheel pose – basically it’s an upside down backbend with hands and feet on the floor, and heart lifting up toward the sky).
to my surprise, my heart let go of something big in that pose.
i don’t know what it was (or maybe i do)
but when i came back down to the floor
i started laughing, and couldn’t stop.
laughter shook my whole body, until tears flowed out too.
i couldn’t even understand what was so funny – but my body knew.
there i was, having the biggest belly laugh of this entire trip, all by myself.
for a reason my brain didn't even fully understand.
la risa. laughter.
alivio. release from fear.
maybe that’s what laughter is, huh?
a bodily recognition of truth.
accompanied by a release of fear.
and when it happens,
it's just really funny.
it felt so good.
this sunday, i am scheduled to teach a heart yoga workshop, here in barcelona.
i am crossing my fingers that women will actually come.
it’s entirely possible i’ll find myself sitting in an empty room!
i hope that doesn't happen.
but if it does happen, i hope i will be able to laugh about it.
and keep moving forward with what is true.
this trip has not been what I expected. and there is where the magic lies.
oh, fear is still here, too. (he stowed away in my luggage, the little sneak.)
but there is too much to see, and too many people to meet, to let fear keep me inside this whole time.
even if the view up here is worth a million bucks.
and, if you are a woman here in barcelona reading this, please reach out to me! i have some time this week. and i’d love to meet you for a coffee or tapas.