it is april now
and i have not written in this blog
big changes have been percolating
in my life,
like coffee brewing in
an old aluminum percolator
from the 1970s,
the one my parents used to have
with the clear plastic knob on top
so you can see
when the brown liquid has
and you know.
i'm preparing to go to print.
it's the idea i wrote about
on new year's eve.
the one my friend amanda
helped me ring in
over pink champagne
on my living room floor.
it's a whole new kind of magazine,
unlike any i've ever seen before.
it gives voice to the heart,
and celebrates true beauty.
it's filled with inspiring writing and
there are no advertisements
on any of its 108 pages.
not a single one.
its name means
oh, if i could somehow measure
the amount of heart and soul and spirit
that has been poured into this project
in the past three months
it would tip the scale
so many have so willingly shared in this creation
with excitement, talent and energy:
was born out of this project,
moving into light.
it came from my travels,
and from the hearts i met and connected with in
washington d.c., new york, rhode island,
barcelona, paris, london,
sydney, port douglas,
and beautiful byron bay.
i want to make it clear that
i am not abandoning moving into light
and the book of portraits
i wish to create.
quite the opposite, i think
...i am living it.
i set out just one year ago to meet and photograph
inspiring women & men who are thriving now
after having been through
intimate parter abuse in their past,
in the hopes of gathering and sharing wisdom
with others who are looking for it.
i want to find a way
"you can change your life.
i did. i know how hard it is. i am with you.
we are all with you.
you can create a better one.
your past relationship does not need to define your future.
what defines you is your courage, and courage comes from the heart."
i still aim to create this book.
and, i am starting a magazine.
this week, as i work with the printer
on the several-steps-long process that is
'preparing to go to print'
i am also battling a head cold
of massive proportions
seems to be
my job is changing.
the weather keeps changing.
my relationship feels like it is changing.
my body is changing.
the season is changing.
the light is changing.
and i wonder if you are feeling this too?
i wonder if this is what caterpillars feel like
when the shell they've been morphing under
and they are left clinging to the cherry tree branch
with still-wet wings and shaky legs
exposed to the world for the first time
as a wholly changed being?
is it just me?
or is it spring?